Confession to the High Priest

Confession to the High Priest

I forgot to say that I have been accused of not paying for my drinks, not paying my debts on time (heinous crime amounting to outright theft), accomplice in stealing gates (another heinous crime like trespass as the land thieves like to fence in property), talking to people without permission in public places (this is another trespass crime), in charge of a disorderly hedge, possession of a large green plastic turtle, being cheeky to the chief Wolfman psychologist, and I daresay other notorious crimes that are not yet on the statute book.

All these are capital offences and constitute the Judgement Day crimes of the condemned man. I think these are the venial sins.

I plead guilty to objecting to cattle grazing on virgin downland, eating psychedelic mushrooms (in my youth), not paying the mooring fees on time (when I had a boat), failing my eleven plus exam, having a phobic fear of crossing high bridges, dislike of rats, listening to Bob Dylan records ...