Chapter 12 (with notes) Great Bear Cafe

The Picnic Controller of the Artisan world (Fauna in John Steinbeck's "Sweet Thursday") organises the charade or the masquerade, the party to put the Doc and Suzy together and it did not work. At least not that time, although there was a record of Gold Stars. At least the Doc had the choice and a stranger was not foisted on him without consultation. Fauna always thinks she knows best. She is a Bear (ISTP) and they are apt to be superficial. She can't tell the difference between a Cat (ISFP) and a Dragon (INFP).

On the Balcony (Jean Genet) everybody plays a role. I think that there is no escape from this. It is (for me) that I am unable (now) to find the correct role for my personality. I expect that I ought to be a writer. But there are lots of writers and the pay is poor. I don't want to live in a lonely garret (Watching the River Flow) without any dosh.

Somehow, I want to get back into the sea of people (without drowning), where I was before I was attacked and ostracised.

The personality type mechanism is rising above such unfortunate circumstances. At the feeding grounds and watering holes, the person has to become an extravert. e.g. the INTP (Eagle) becomes the ENTP Snake. This spooks the Guardian Horsemen (ESFJ) and this happens time and time again. He thinks the intruder is aiming to be Champion the Wonder Horse. Guardians habitually cannot appreciate that other people are different from them and see things in their own ambitions and become hostile. Therefore, I get excluded.

I try to walk through the fear, but it takes too much time to feel safe. This is my personality handicap. This can be seen a Schizoid Disorder, but I see it as Information Deficit. It may also be regarded as lack of support. This may happen both ways. It happens with missing parents or Narc parents (e.g. Puff the Magic Dragon). The parent instead of giving support tries to blow down the boundaries of your personality. Or the parent thinks that the reputation of the family (or the boss of the firm in the workplace scenario) is more important than the individual person. Shotgun weddings etc.

Two o'clock in the morning and I have a airy feeling which I put down as an uninvited stalker (not my neighbour), or an invited stalker out of reach. I've got a feeling that a Cat may have transformed to Dragon. This is a rather unforseen happening and rather risky and dangerous event. I don't think there has been a conscious connection and I don't understand how the dreamboat works. There has not been any ghosts or hauntings. I am not so sure that a Dragon (INFP) and Phoenix (XNXP) can mix: more like identity theft? The Ferret (ENTP) would work well though. Need some grounding in reality (non-fliers).

Phoenix XNXP from Neptune