All Saints Day

Office Bullies: Insulted in Public? Unmask the Bully!

For office bullies, every day is Halloween. That is, office bullies wear masks. They fear exposing their inner weakness. You can use this trait to your advantage when a bully insults or criticizes you in front of others.

Try these steps:
Take a deep breath and allow yourself time to process the comment. Recognize the insult for what it is—and is not. It is not a constructive suggestion for change. It is a bully’s challenge, designed to embarrass you. Give yourself time to quiet your natural desire to defend yourself. Defensiveness puts you in a weaker position. Instead, allow silence to form around the bully’s words. You can experiment by asking the bully direct questions, such as “What makes you think that?” “How do you see that quality in my action?” This puts the onus on the bully to respond.

Since there’s likely to be little data or back up to support their original comment, the bully may have to back down. Use the “broken record technique,” that is, repeat your questions until the bully responds. Stating your question firmly and with confidence is key. There’s nothing a bully fears more than being unmasked. When you remain calm, in control and ask questions, you’re likely to expose the bully’s weakness—her ability to think clearly and support her conclusions.

http://www.bullyfreeatwork.com/blog/?page_id=36